FOLLOWING FLOATING STARS TOWARDS THE WARM GLOW OF ETERNITY

Earlier this year I finally accepted that surgery was my only option for a persistently painful and inhibiting medical problem I’d had over a number of years that was severely damaging my quality of life, overall health, and ability to fully function in society. This surgery did not strike me as a quick-fix procedure, though it was described as standard day surgery with recovery at home expected to be smooth, quick and manageable. Ever the fatalist at the most inconvenient of times, I was dubious and consumed with dread given the nature of it was particularly unpleasant, potentially painful and I did not have access to a motor vehicle if I needed to rush to a doctor, pharmacy or hospital. But having received those assurances to the contrary, I was not too concerned on the day of the procedure. Furthermore, I was not prepared for what was to come.

From the moment I woke up after the procedure I was shocked to find I had lost my voice. I figured it was just from the oxygen and not an infection. But that night was the start of enduring days and nights of extreme agony, sleeplessness, sickness, croaky breathing, and fogginess. Pain is a funny thing because as quickly as you experience it, you soon forget how bad it was, only that it was bad. Such an experience wouldn’t generally be readily remembered, especially when you end up in extreme pain for days afterwards, with a chest infection as an added bonus. Without a reliable car anymore and living too far away from public transport and not being able to walk anyway or pay for a cab, there was no way to get to a Doctor or Hospital easily for a check-up or antibiotics. Thus, those days of sleeplessness, restlessness, frustration, and agony were endured with no relief or reprieve. The recommended pain treatments and painkillers simply did not work effectively. Yet, during the first night of broken sleep and relentless pain, I had a profound and wondrous experience when I finally managed some sleep that left me questioning my entire belief system and if I had been too hasty in dismissing the presence of divine creation in another dimension. Was it a dream, or was it a peek into heaven, a glimpse of God?

The idea of a God existing has a lot of appeal for some as it creates a place of inner peace and calm, a sanctuary in your being to retreat into and simply be still and pray or simply be. It can be simply an innate belief and long-held faith that is part of their being. It serves as a focal point and reminder to never lose sight of our soul’s purpose and heart’s desires. Uniting with God can be a reward for a tormented, troubled life or the logical conclusion to a blessed, wonderful life fully lived. It is the force and presence on another plane that inspires hope for those with faith and encourages people to live a life of goodness, compassion, remorse and atonement, charity, belief, generosity, and love, with courage, humility, grace, dignity, and gratitude. To feel the light of God and that joy and try to be that joy. It brings conflicting emotions though. Comfort and confusion, gratitude and disappointment, happiness and anguish, delight and despair, joy and sadness, questions and reveries, acceptance and blame, strength and weakness, courage and fear, determination and defeat. We can often end up feeling short-changed and ripped off by the cards we are dealt in life, and keep being dealt, by this divine presence above who has the power and capacity to fix everything but refuses to intervene. The occasional Ace appears to temporarily restore hope, faith and belief, but for so many, it is never a full house or straight. A taste of perfection, but never an immersion in perfection as doors are slammed in your face just as it seemed the tables were turning in your favour and Lady Luck was on your side. So many people are reaching out for visions of fulfillment, connections, and riches that are only illusions. The monkey on your back that you just can’t shake off. Like a tennis player trying to win just one game, or the football team trying to just get that first goal, or the Formula One driver, his first podium. Then, just like that, the wheels start turning in your favour and you wonder when those riches and rewards come pouring into your life, as Napoleon Hill wrote, “where they have been hiding during all of those lean years”. Everything is magnetic, mystical, magnificent, attainable, and at the mercy of our deepest desires, beliefs, and dreams. We control whether it is just an illusion or a gift we can hold, have and experience, with an open heart and joyful soul. Our spirit becomes elevated and receptive in those moments of true, abiding, and enduring faith.

Interestingly, I stopped believing in God as a child, not being able to reconcile a loving God with the cards I had been dealt with in life. Decades later, I am still sceptical, though I still pray for the beautiful, peaceful and free life everyone wants and deserves. Yet, considering all the other continual suffering going on in the world, with babies, children and vulnerable, innocent and defenceless people copping the brunt of the injustices, violence, hostilities, atrocities, hatred, manipulation, and unfairness in the world, believing in God and Heaven seems really far-fetched and ridiculous. What “God” wouldn’t intervene at this point in time, given the current course this civilisation is on? It is like God is up there thinking, “How bad can the human being be?” God is certainly seeing how evil humans can be from the events in the last two years, but also the last century has been particularly brutal. We are not seeing an experiment in goodness and purity on Earth, we are seeing an experiment in sheer evil and control. God must surely be shocked and disappointed in what his creation has done with the precious gift of life and a Planet that we have been blessed with. It takes a profound amount of faith to believe everything that happens is all part of God’s plan and to accept it all with grace, compassion, forgiveness, and strengthened determination and even deeper faith. It is true that if you believe in God then you believe God gave human beings “free will” thus asserting the divine directive that it is not for God to intervene and make right what humans have stuffed up or are doing wrong. Yet, there is so much divine intervention and so many miracles required right now for a civilisation that might not actually deserve it. The powerful and their willing followers in society allow, accommodate, and promote evil, malevolence and seeing how many people they can get away with hurting, harming, torturing, injuring and killing along the way with their ever-more demonic ways of inflicting such misery. Their lust to kill and destroy governs their behaviour and thoughts and they call this quest of death of destruction “God’s will”. I can see why God might have absolved itself of responsibility for doing the job of restoring the world to a place of peace, calm, goodwill, harmony, and serenity. God can only forgive human beings, not fix the flaws and failings of humankind. The task of repentance and atonement is on us, for those willing to acknowledge and repair our imperfections and mistakes, and seek redemption and forgiveness. But where are the miracles for those trying to do good in this world over-run with evil and consumed with hatred and hostility? I can’t remember the last time a real miracle occurred on Earth. It is rarely discussed and often dismissed as a conspiracy. Do miracles even happen anymore? It wouldn’t surprise me if the divine had given up on us after witnessing what we have collectively become as a civilisation with good people powerless to stop the descent into despair, uncontrollable violence, and dystopia. Each age has been defined by its violence, and this one is no different.

Despite this apparent absence of divinity on Earth and from what I have witnessed in recent times, the more sorrow, loss, pain and anguish certain people experience, the more spiritual they become. Their struggles and suffering seem to bring them closer to God, not further from God. Their hearts seem to lighten with the purity and certainty of their faith and compassion. Their pain becomes their power and gives them purpose, strength and determination. I wish my faith was that deep, enduring, abiding, accepting and understanding. On the other side, the best of humanity is shamelessly and ruthlessly exceeded by the worst of human nature and character and the evil humans are capable of. In a world where human beings are responsible for the darkness, it is a struggle to simply see any light anywhere. We are all at the mercy of a handful of truly evil individuals determined to cast their dark shadow across our Earth and leave a trail of death and destruction as the blood-soaked legacy for this civilisation. It challenges the soul to believe there is a God in a world with individuals that diabolical or that there is a Heaven where we will all be welcomed and embraced, without reservation, question or judgement.

FLEEING GOD:

A long time ago, on a High School religious retreat I confessed that I didn’t believe in God. I was met with consternation and the people running the retreat demanded to know what I did believe in. I was too shocked and taken aback to answer as the attack seemed unwarranted as my faith, or lack thereof, was not their business to contend with or reconcile. Later, over the months and years, I wished I’d replied, “I believe in myself… and that is enough”. My Daughter recently said something similar to me when I questioned her faith and belief. She believes in herself. That is indeed enough. I personally like to believe though that angels are watching over both of my children. With the passage of time and life experiences, you are justified in questioning if there is a God as such trials and tribulations are a test of faith, character and inner strength and will. Indeed, you hope there is a God to make all the horror, pain, suffering, torment, trauma and struggle others are enduring worth it. It would be nice to know that eventually, we will all experience peace and the exhilarating embrace of that warm glow of Heaven one way or another, even if it is never achieved on this Earthly plane. To know, trust, and believe that despite the most difficult of paths, a divine destiny awaits.

I have often found myself wondering if God’s guiding hand had a part to play in certain episodes in life when, looking back, you think, “How did I get through that?” It seems to be like through all the trials and challenges, something had been carrying me through. In those moments of curiosity and wondering what’s next, I turn to faith and attempt to connect with the divine. I imagine many people would know and understand that feeling. At our weakest, darkest and most challenging moments, we doubt our innate ability and strength to make it, thus we put it down to God/Spirit or divine intervention getting us through it. Though no great insights or trumpets sounding occur for me and I scoff at the idea and default to my sceptical state and put it down to my own inner resilience, the will to overcome the hard times and hold onto hope that better things are coming. But in recent years, whether admitted or not, whether revealed or not, some kind of faith and divine support, seems to have gotten me through.

Some people always need evidence and proof before believing something though. Most of the time. These days, up is down, black is white and everything has become a conspiracy theory. The best of the human character, generosity of spirit, kindness, care, helpfulness, benevolence, sharing, openness, integrity, love, and compassion, is dismissed, ridiculed and portrayed as a weakness, failing and shortcoming, and a danger to humanity. This divisive and dystopian way of thinking is used as a tool to divide our society. People with good hearts and kind natures are met with hate and hostility and put down, hurt, abused, and dragged down. It has made it very easy for governments to turn their backs on vulnerable and marginalised citizens in a society where they have created a hateful, selfish society that doesn’t care about each other and so neither should the government. Consequently, it easily abandons its responsibility to help and support everyone, and simply leaves the struggling class to languish and eventually die, neglected, isolated, forgotten. I’m not sure why the political class, specifically, the duopoly controlling Western countries, divides us, nor do I understand what they get out of it. Unless they have a sadistic desire to feel powerful by inflicting suffering and trauma on the people and strike the easiest target. The legal system has become a useful tool for some of these vendettas as the courts often readily side with the bad guys. It is a curious thing that those in positions of power and authority managed such an achievement to turn the good people in the world into “the enemy”, with institutions and authorities willing to participate in and exacerbate the cruelty, hatred and hostility, and accommodate the vendettas and acts of unlawful, unjust vengeance. Respect for and acceptance of others is a thing of the past. Any indication of a slight difference of opinion is swiftly punished. If you don’t agree with the government, out comes the “terrorist label” for any act of dissidence. Seeing the inherent humanity and dignity in everyone is no longer commonplace. Dehumanisation has become easy and certain groups in society are savagely targeted, belittled and demeaned, especially in the media.

Tyranny is now trending. Racism and supremacy are back in style. Killing sprees have become a spectator sport. Bloodthirsty tendencies are now seen as strength of character and show of “might”. Rejoicing in slaughters is the latest fad, with media propagandists and commentators barely able to contain their glee at seeing innocent people slaughtered, relentlessly, ruthlessly, brutally, endlessly, constantly. While the significant technological advancements of our time is how much better countries are getting at killing people. Fascism is back in, freedom is out. Democracy is an illusion, authoritarianism and expansionism is the name of the game. The greatest intellectual achievement of our time has been the ability to portray racism, supremacy, extermination and crimes against humanity as a public service for the greater good and the benefit of our civilisation and required to save Western democracy. The West and its proxy have convinced themselves that the Law no longer applies to them and they carry out atrocities and fund, arm and resource atrocities with impunity and threaten and intimidate the upholders of law and justice on our Planet. Everyone who wants a peaceful, free Planet is now designated a terrorist with a tick of a box, not a pacifist or a humanitarian. It is no longer about proof, character, knowledge, intent, evidence, or credibility, but who is setting the agenda. “Do I like this person? If Yes, then it must be true. Are they ideologically or religiously different to me? Yes. “Then everything they say is a lie designed to ruin my life and they are woke losers trapped in an echo chamber of commie propaganda intent on ruining the country and our way of life”. Nonsense to that effect controls the narrative, agenda and hearts and minds of societies all over the Western world. It is a funny old world and people only believe who they want to believe, not who is telling the truth or even what the truth is. Even the acquisition of knowledge has been maligned and derided. The Age of Enlightenment is over, the Age of Propaganda, Misinformation, Hate, Division, Supremacy, Lies, and Willful Ignorance is upon us. Instead of arguing over the concept, people resort to abuse, base insults, ridicule, and contrived, deliberate mockery and demeaning language. Knowledge used to be welcomed and sought after, now it’s condemned and elusive as even universities shut down departments designed to teach you how to think and critique everything. Forget commercial and government-funded television to deliver any form of news or information from a completely unbiased, objective, accurate, honest, and balanced perspective. It is all fantasy and propaganda scripted by the ones dropping the bombs with impunity and in defiance of International Law, and global condemnation, disgust, disdain and horror.

This new world order makes it very easy for governments, media, authorities, institutions, corporations, that dangerous menace in society known as “lobbyists”, and prominent individuals, to manipulate, deceive, lie, harm, damage, intimidate, censor, control, coerce, and hurt people. It also makes it very difficult to start telling the truth when particular institutions in society trade in deception and profit from lies, misinformation, manipulation, and deliberate harm. The hottest commodity is the easiest lie to sell that will make the powerful and privileged very rich, with ultimate control over us, over money, over our resources, over knowledge and access to information, and over all the wealth. Our access to all that is valuable in society has been eroded. Even easy access to freedom, information and cash is blocked. All this while they’re keeping a watchful eye over us with the Dawn of the Age of Surveillance well and truly breaking and blinding society with its brutal intrusion into our lives and invasion of privacy and deprivation of civil liberties. Refusing to fall victim to the ugly and ruthless agenda being promoted and encouraged by the powerful and privileged is a daily struggle and intellectual challenge. “Knowledge is power”. That is why universities are facing drastic funding cuts to departments that encourage liberalism - free thinking and critical thinking. It is then counter-intuitive that universities are the first to rush to cut funding to the very departments and faculties that gave birth to the accumulation and sharing of knowledge and wisdom. But this fact is also why they want to keep people at best, misinformed and sceptical, at worst, relatively stupid and distracted. So people are easily manipulated, conned and controlled. The more ignorant and weak people are, the more powerful and strong they are. The more naïve, sheltered and dim society’s world-view is, the easier it is for them to create a landscape of fantasies and fictional stories, while they take everything of value and leave everyone else with nothing of value. The more busy people are kept with jobs that barely cover the cost of living while also being kept in debt until they die, the less time and opportunities people have to think and scrutinise what their government, media, institutions and authorities are telling them. The more people idolise them and jump on the bandwagon of abuse and attacks, the less capacity and willingness there is to see what they’re taking from us, all of us. The less we care about each other, the more they are taking from all of us, collectively. They are winning by dividing us, while we are losing everything, even our human connection to and sense of belonging with each other.

CHOOSING LIGHT:

Thus, to continue to see beauty and light in that darkness is a rare and precious gift to be savoured, shared, and carefully guarded. For we must never stop seeing and sharing goodness and light and encouraging harmony with each other. We must always focus on actions, thoughts and feelings that enrich, enhance, enliven, enlighten, expand, and elevate our hearts, minds, souls, spirit, lives, civilisation, and world. By learning about each other, we can relate to each other. We are all fundamentally exactly the same. We are all people, human beings, with dreams, desires, needs, wants, goals, ambitions, faith, hope and a right to peace, freedom, knowledge and opportunities, to be left to pursue our chosen path unhindered and unharmed, to express ourselves without judgement, shame or persecution, to move freely across borders without limitation or intrusive observation, and to retain our own sense of identity, culture and heritage. That is how we advance, progress and flourish as a society and civilisation. Together. Unified. Harmonised. Appreciated. That is the ultimate victory. To feel and experience joy from the good and wonderful things we are giving to each other and from real beauty, generosity, and graciousness, rather than the sordid satisfaction they are gaining from what they’re taking from us, our world, our civilisation, and our lives, with their lies, violent, divisive and dangerous actions, and hostility and hatred. While the powerful and privileged go out of their way to poison our souls with their evil and violent actions and their lust to kill and slaughter as many people as they can, while attempting to desensitise us to that senseless, ongoing mass murder, we must transcend their inhuman malice and channel all of our strength into focusing on nourishing our souls with the good and kind actions of people around the world who epitomise divine light, faith, generosity and love with their hearts of gold, goodwill, grace, and pure spirit. It is on us to not only shine our light, but to share our light, as it is needed now more than ever. In a world where miracles are few and far between, we must be the miracle in someone’s life, the warmth in their heart, the exuberance in their spirit, the guiding light directing them to their purpose and potential and their soul’s fulfillment. The powerful, armed and privileged might have darkened our world and tainted our civilisation for all time, but let’s not let them succeed in darkening our hearts, souls and lives, too. We must discover each other’s light and determine our life path with grace and goodwill governing our decisions and actions and win this battle.

By still choosing to unite in peace and harmony and not succumb to their divisive hatred and malice, that is God in action, in us, and on Earth, a miracle in a sea of hopelessness, despair and loss. Maybe God is simply human goodness and the miracles that stem from those actions inspired by benevolence and generosity. Maybe miracles are the simple things that we do for each other that make each other’s day brighter and easier. This is the human spirit in divine form. Transcendence. Elevation. Ascension on Earth. Seeing light in darkness, beauty amongst the brutality, goodness amongst the hatred, victory after the violence, forgiveness after the abuse. Ascending above their vicious attempts to turn us into them is truly divine. To not succumb to losing our souls against all odds would seem to truly be the hand of God guiding, guarding and protecting us. Despite each new atrocity causing our hearts to ache and souls to shudder, shake, scream and want to escape witnessing unbearable atrocities, we must continue with more determination to be better than they are and not let our hearts be hardened or surrender to a place of support because it’s convenient and exacts less of a toll. That in itself is a miracle. The existence of God, angels, an afterlife and heaven and hell is all reliant on pure faith and our ability to be better than them. A loving, pure, heart, filled with light, trust, understanding and the grace of whatever divine or universal force that individual believes in, prevailing. To create and preserve life, and reject their insistence on destroying and damaging life. That is the miracle of our age and the divine entering our realm.

I never expected I would be fortunate enough to directly experience anything remotely spiritual or soulful in this lifetime. Why did I have this experience at this point in time when the idea of God and Heaven seemed so far away and so unrealistic. Maybe it was a spiritual awakening that happened at a time in world history when this reminder was needed to inspire us all to keep going, to know that those who have been lost, the absolute best of us and the human spirit and human character, are in a better place and that those who remain in those horrendous situations and circumstances need the rest of us to be strong, steadfast, determined and committed to what’s right, moral, just and real. To be guided by our gentle, loving hearts, not their violent hatred. Shattering the illusions and embracing what is real with fearless determination and courage, and to live a life of love, joy, gratitude, harmony, unity, peace, freedom, opportunity, and togetherness. Maybe that realisation from the dream is the miracle.  To that end, maybe the dream was meant to rejuvenate and replenish my soul and serve as a reminder to never lose sight of the ultimate goodness of our presence and purpose here in a world where the light is fading away ever so rapidly. Maybe while I was teetering on the edge of giving up the fight and just going about my life like nothing bad was happening in the world, it was reminding me not to give up and to keep speaking up. Maybe it was simply turning the light of divinity back on in my heart and soul.

SEEKING ANGELS:

Yet it certainly was not how I imagined “Heaven” to be. In my idea of heaven, I picture a tranquil sanctuary of lush greenery and bubbling brooks, gliding over rocks and weaving through a colourful landscape that seems to go on forever. I could stare at the water in those brooks for hours, a hypnotic, magical scene. This place is a vision of excellence, light and peace. Tree-lined hidden gardens forming a labyrinth to walk through with fountains and flowers refine and accentuate the landscape. Sitting by the fountains and gliding your hands through the water is refreshing, healing, and calming. By the brooks that criss-cross the landscape are seats and large rocks to sit on and contemplate life and humanity or simply relax, sit still and be. Large rocks form bridges to cross the brook. Statues of Angels surround the place as a reminder that this is the domain of the divine. A place of tranquility, grace and eternal purity. The sound of the running water over the rocks, with fish, frogs and turtles swimming around, is nurturing and comforting. There are bright, beautiful flowers everywhere, yellow, red, orange, pink, with evergreen leaves. The flowers colour the landscape, lighten the heart, and nourish the soul. Fertile fields of sunflowers, lilies, gerberas, mango trees and olive trees fill the landscape. There are waterfalls and pristine, crystal-clear lakes that soothe the soul and cleanse the spirit. Ducks, turtles, swans, chirping birds, buzzing bees, butterflies and dragonflies are close-by, at home in this majestic place. Dolphins, seals, penguins, and whales play in the water of the lake. Dogs run around the grass excitedly. Hummingbirds flitter from flower to flower and tree branch to tree branch as Eagles glide majestically overhead. The laughter and excited voices of children playing echoes across the greenery and soft, luscious landscape. A hive of activity and yet the overwhelming sensation is one of stillness and freedom. Playfully running across the grass, up and down the slopes and through the gardens and down the paths between trees with swings hanging down from their branches. Climbing over the rocks forming a path across the brooks, with the wind blowing through your hair, brings an overwhelming sense of euphoria, ecstasy, elation, and exhilaration. Energy is boundless here. Happiness is limitless. The light is so bright and the air is pure, clean, crisp, cool, energising, and rejuvenating. The sunshine lights up the scenery in a golden hue offering a glistening vision of wondrous, picturesque beauty, and intensifies the feelings of joy and safety in this otherworldly dimension. The colours of Autumn as the light filtered through the trees in the distance with their yellow, orange and brown leaves fluttering majestically and glowing radiantly made the landscape that much more inviting, fascinating, mystical, and lovely. The grass is so soft to walk on, the leaves crunching, and the water so inviting to swim in and float on. Colour and light adorn the pathways in this place that is a delightful haven of endless peace, magnetic brilliance, and boundless splendour. Real shelter and safe harbour is found here. Guarded. Guided. Protected perfection. Serenity and tranquility abounds. The heart is overflowing with happiness and pleasure. Everything we seek in life is found here. The feeling of contentment and completion. Blessed creation in all its eternal glory and miraculous wonder. Gracefulness and lightness fill your being. Spirit. Divinity. Heartsong. There is only calmness, fulfillment, and magnificence here. Everything here is intricately nurtured and pieced together in a perfect, tender, loving, and gentle harmony and symphony of unity and goodness. Everything belongs in God’s handiwork. A graceful, warm and welcoming sanctuary for the soul. A miracle. This is my Heaven. This is where you will find me when I get there.

DOMAIN OF THE DIVINE:

My imagination was not quite what I was greeted with that night, yet the vision was equally as beautiful and brilliant. Thus it seems that, once I eventually fell asleep, at what I consider to be a reward for the suffering and agony that night, and handling it with dignity and grace at 3am, I was being shown a portal into the golden serenity of heaven during a dream that felt more like an expansion of my presence and being. Naturally, what I saw in the dream may have panned out to be an episode of inconsequential delirium. But maybe it was an insight into the destiny of our dreams. An inspiring glance towards what can only be presumed to be Heaven. The certainty I instantly felt definitely confirmed it. A golden paradise of peaceful eternity. Reaching for an illusion that felt like a vision of that eternity we have been told about and being so close to it and yet so far. It felt like receiving a glimpse of heaven, experiencing the divine, momentarily, a gateway, an insight, a peek into forever, staring up to see beyond the skies at what magnificence awaited us all. Or it could have merely been a dream transcending reality and this earthly plane. Maybe it was a trick of the imagination, or a treat, the spirit world having fun and letting me see their playground, allowing me an insight into the realm of eternal wonder, then being woken up at the most inopportune time. As if to say, “you’re curious enough to only want to see if it’s here, but you don’t wanna come here yet, so you get a glance of eternity”. For this reason, it wasn’t an immersion that those with near-death experiences recount in books, movies, talk shows and documentaries. It was an image and vision unlike any of the depictions of heaven seen in movies and read about in books. It appeared as the “divine consciousness” we are all comprised of and comprise. It felt like a vision of God, feeling God, being comforted by God, united with God, invited by and introduced to God. But there was no conversation or dialogue with “God”. I’d probably still be at it now with all the questions I have for this “God” that apparently exists. Maybe this was also a message to say not to stress about the madness, chaos and evil in this world because there is a better place than Earth and everything else will simply fade away into oblivion. Or it was most likely simply an unforgettable, beautiful dream. A dream worth sharing for all its glory, tranquility and reassurance. A reminder that somewhere goodness lies waiting, ready to consume all the darkness of this world with everlasting light. A testament that pure divinity will ultimately be victorious and that the malevolence and bloodthirsty actions of the powerful and privileged will be judged, punished, condemned and remembered by history on this plane, with pity, scorn, anguish and disgust, but not a concern beyond this place. Though ultimately, higher forces will judge those people, one way or another, as they lay claim to be acting violently for their “God”.

After such encounters in life, one presumes, fervently hopes even, that there is still something better and more important to be done here if entry into such a beautiful, alluring, peaceful, and enticing place above was not sought in that dream-state. Given current circumstances, I’m not sure why anyone would elect to simply see what is there, but not actually go there. It was such a warm, welcoming and inviting feeling and vision. It was an answered prayer at a time prayers have gone unanswered for seemingly an eternity. The feeling of sanctuary and tranquility was coupled with a fleeting sense of delight, excitement, euphoria, calm, grace and ease I have never felt before. Nor have I seen others in such a tempered state, except maybe in movies and books, just before they die. In that moment of surrender, finally letting go, they appear immersed in peace, a soulful state of deep serenity, a spiritual awakening in a moment of departure and release. Some who meditate or pray also experience such a state of stillness, completely attuned to the eternal grace and light, transcendence. There was no fear in that moment, only trust, wonder, assurance, and acceptance. It was a sensation of being elevated to a state of elation, exuberance, exhilaration and excited anticipation. Quiet surrender with a willingness and readiness to ascend and journey beyond this earthly plane, to the twinkling, glistening, serene realm beyond. It was a compelling force that calms the spirit and invites the soul with a sense of home and complete warmth. A rush of peace washes over your entire being as you experience this magnetic pull and compulsion to glide towards it, to see and enquire, if not to venture upwards on this occasion. Nothing left behind is even thought of, nor is there any trepidation. The feeling is actually quite indescribable. The vision even more brilliant, mesmerizing, and surreal. A revelation, a reward, golden riches, and a wonderful answer. What did it look like? I made sure to sear it into my memory as I knew I was unlikely to experience this vision or feeling again in my waking life.

JOURNEYING BEYOND:

At first, in front of me, there was a narrow golden column of flickering light that seemed to rise forever. All there is in that column of golden light is ascension, an invitation to rise up and float upwards, higher and higher and higher. There was a stream of golden stars, big and small, rising, rising towards something I was unable to make out. But there was no blue sky above. The golden column contained a profound, picturesque form and beauty that I gazed at with a curiosity captured in the innocence and wonder of a child’s eyes. A majestic sight rarely seen or experienced these days. Stars, drifting towards the golden light, radiant, glorious light. Stars dancing on the light. Stars gliding towards eternity, chaotic, yet calm. From the minute I saw the column of light and looked up, I was immediately entranced and desperate to see if Heaven was there. Intuitively, I knew what this was. I knew that if I kept looking up, I might just capture a glimpse of Heaven, if Heaven was there.

It appeared like an avenue of light and love, seeking angels on a path to divine evolution and peace. It truly appeared as another dimension, so far away from this crazy old world. It emanated such warm tranquility, soulful bliss and a feeling of returning home. It is hard to imagine such a concept here on Earth after all the dark and gruesome things we have all witnessed in the past few years and decades. That is why it takes so much belief and faith, because it requires imagining something on another spiritual plane that artists, poets, musicians, writers, and movie makers have attempted to capture in their art over centuries. But none of what I have seen came close to what I saw in my dream that night. I wonder if the alarm hadn’t have gone off and woken me, if I would have surrendered and simply floated with the stars, undisturbed, fearless, simply ready and willing and content in the knowledge that I was going home and it was more beautiful than anything I had ever seen or experienced in this lifetime. Or if I would have been sent back to tell the tale or simply carry on with my life, for what it’s worth.

It felt like being guided home to eternity, as you feel the warm glow invite you upwards. The stars glowing brightly in a golden column of light, ready, waiting, unassuming, simply there in all its brilliant glory. Rising upwards towards a place that instantly captivates, intrigues and invites. The way forward to what comes next. At the end of this mortal coil, strangulating, stifling and suffocating for some, was a beautiful world of stunning light and golden splendour. There is no fear, worry or hesitation on this journey. Thus, Heaven is warmly welcomed, graciously received and enthusiastically entered into as the light of divinity embraces the soul and we return home at last. A dimension of everlasting light, peace and comfort, a sense of journeying on while simultaneously arriving, without looking back. It is like the most loving embrace you will ever experience.

In life, we often wonder if Heaven is real or if Heaven is simply the imaginations of those of faith who need the reassurance that there is more than this or who are born with the belief that there is more than this. For most, curiosity is the driving factor to want to know if it is actually real, though some will never be convinced while others will appreciate the idea with wide-eyed wonder and humility. We all question if we are good enough for heaven and if that divine presence, will welcome us or condemn us. But ultimately, maybe we are all stars in the eyes of divinity, souls yearning for home again, and we might all follow the stars back home one day.

While I’ve never actually had the good fortune of having a spiritual experience, neither in dreams nor in real life, that Monday night/early Tuesday morning was unusual. I discovered something very different to what I had imagined. Yet, who knows what lay beyond what I glimpsed had I ventured forward, upwards, towards that place where eternity lies waiting. The medical procedure and minor surgery, combined with pain and sleeplessness, getting up, standing and walking around, then returning to bed. Still unable to sleep, feeling uncomfortable, breathless, tightness in my chest, and tense from the severe pain I was in and the chest infection I’d suddenly acquired after surgery. I was not feeling well at all. I’ll never know what really happened that night after I eventually did fall asleep.

I seemed to have been led to a state where I entered a dream that took me in-between worlds, or showed me the connection between worlds, where different dimensions join and exchange energy. A flurry of activity with so many stars, so much light, and a column of light rising higher and higher. A dream at the intersection of life and the afterlife. Or so it seemed as I was presented with that glorious column of golden light before me. It appeared to be where souls ascend to eternal peace or descend to a temporary experience of human existence. Before me this golden column of light rose higher, and higher, and higher. All the way up and down the column were small golden stars. Were these stars the seeds of souls…. ascending and descending. Moving towards the source of life on Earth, where the golden column began. Then rising up towards the gateway to our ultimate destiny, heaven. What I knew to be the ascension to heaven but would I actually see it…?

As I stood in the column of light, curiosity completely consumed me and I looked up, and kept looking, and this column of light, filled with stars seemed to go on and on, with no end in sight. Strangely enough, I could still see everything despite it being further than the naked eye could ordinarily see. I was intent on seeing if heaven was there. I didn’t think I would be able to see heaven, if indeed heaven was there, as it seemed too far away. The stars floating, all that way. Suddenly, there was a slight bend in the column, then I looked, and a little bit higher from that point was a golden dome of bright golden light. A beautiful destination of golden wonder and magnificence. A glowing embrace of light and grace. I instantly knew what I was seeing. It felt so real. The sense of awe and relief that came over me was comforting and peaceful. It was there. I was there. Heaven. There was nothing but golden light everywhere. The column was a golden light, the stars were golden, and the dome was a golden ball of warm, welcoming light. It was such an inviting place and there was no fear, only complete wonder and amazement at what I had just seen. A glimpse of heaven. Glancing at heaven, yet not wanting to journey there. Simple fascination and curiosity overwhelmed me and there was complete joy at what I had just witnessed. I was still down on Earth looking up. I was not travelling up the column of stars towards the golden dome of light. I had merely been given a glance into eternity, a momentary peek at divinity. Glancing into heaven, at heaven, for only the briefest of moments. Almost instantaneously, my alarm clock woke me up. I have never been more disappointed at having to wake up in my life. There was still so much to explore and delve into and figure out in this golden scene, this flurry of activity, this eternal dream of our destiny, this eternal, light-filled landscape. With golden stars both simultaneously ascending and descending hurriedly, determinedly, with ease.

Of course, it was only a dream. But it was nice to think, believe and feel that it was more than a dream, that it was a true connection with the divine, a vision of limitless beauty and purity. Regardless, when I die, it brings me some level of comfort to know I could be up there in the sky, not too close, but not too far. In my own part of the sky, away from the clusters of other stars where I didn’t belong in life and won’t beyond. Rather, there in the distance, a solitary star, twinkling calmly and determinedly, shining a light down on my children, gently guiding and illuminating their path. A reminder to always hold onto hope, faith, belief, potential and the promise of a bright future. Always there. Everlasting light and eternal love. The dream was a fleeting image of divinity, eternity, and our soul’s home. One day I will find out if my dream was real and if I had in fact been offered a rare treat, a gift from God of home. A postcard with a beautiful, magnificent picture, as it were. A snapshot of the portal towards destiny. If, that night, I was actually more unwell than I realised and floated at the precipice between what is here now and what comes next for us all, then it doesn’t matter who we are here, up there, we are all golden stars lighting the way, because each soul is pure love and light, and that is divinity and pure spirit, and where we reunite with the warmth and glow of heaven. Will everyone on Earth today be presented with this same opportunity? It’s a hard truth to reconcile with given the horrific events of the age we are enduring and atrocious acts we are witnessing. Yet, miracles could emerge in the stars of our eyes and the hearts of our souls as the light within is irresistibly drawn to the golden glow of eternity, our ultimate destiny, that is completely absorbed by the captivating brilliance of the Universe beyond this earthly plane. It is a reminder that there is hope for this civilisation that goodness will overcome all the evil we have witnessed. Maybe the miracle of God is seeing goodness and light even with a veil of darkness inflicted upon us by elements of humankind suffocating our souls and shrouding our spirit. Beyond the painful and disappointing journey of life is the easiest, smoothest and most welcoming journey we will all ever make, hopefully. Journeying along that pathway is the best feeling in the world. It feels so good and it is a place where you just want to go there, filled with anticipation, no reservations, nerves or doubts, simply intensely feeling drawn and pulled to that never-ending, beautiful, golden light. To this day I am left wondering, was it a dream of the divine, or was it the divine entering my dream.